What every Child Needs to Know About Marriage
Every child alive at this moment is facing an unimaginable onslaught of sexual perversion. Many of the arguments coming against them seem legitimate. People say, “It’s the way we do things in this day and hour.”
The last line of defense against these onslaughts is the Christian home and family. Many people, unfortunately, depend on the church to do what only the home should do. No church should serve in the place of a parent. Parents should accept the responsibility that God has given them and follow through with these responsibilities, not abdicating them to a church or even a Christian school.
We need to stop giving our responsibilities to others. God is going to hold us accountable. What is it that every child needs to hear from his or her parents about marriage?
THE BIBLE IS OUR GUIDE AND AUTHORITY FOR LIFE
Read these Scriptures deliberately to your children: Genesis 1:26-31
The Bible is God’s revelation of Himself. Everything that God wants us to know about Him, He tells us in the Bible. As we read and study the Bible, we hear God speaking, and we understand what God says as He directs us by His Spirit. The Bible is our guide and authority for life. God’s way is going to be challenged on every hand by people who do not know or believe the Bible, but the Bible is the Word of God. Somewhere, sometime, more than once, while children are growing up in a home, parents need to have a very simple conversation with their children about the Bible. It may go a little like this:
“We are Christian people. That means we know the Lord Jesus Christ as our personal Saviour. We have asked God to forgive our sin, and by faith we have trusted Christ as our Saviour. God has made known the way of salvation for us in His Word. The Bible says of itself, ‘And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus’ (II Timothy 3:15). We know the only way to know God is through His Son the Lord Jesus, and we learn all this from Scripture. Any subject that we are going to discuss in our home, life, and our family life means we need to know first and foremost what God has to say about it. The Bible is our guide and authority for life.”
GOD INSTITUTED MARRIAGE IN THE GARDEN OF EDEN
Read and explain this passage to your children. Keep it simple: Genesis 1:21-25
Marriage is the cornerstone for all human civilization. This is the way God has designed it. When we are talking about marriage and what the Bible says about marriage, we find that the Bible is the guide and authority for marriage, and we understand that God Himself instituted marriage. What God made cannot be improved upon.
MARRIAGE IS BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN
Read this passage to your children: Genesis 1:27
When God created human beings, He made them male and female. When God designed marriage, He designed marriage so that it is between a man and a woman. God never had any other intention. He has never told us about any other plan in the Bible, but the plan of marriage between a man and a woman.
Children today deal with terms like transexual, lesbian, andhomosexual. Generations ago, these were not terms that were used. It is important that children knowthat everything God designs, Satan tries to pervertand change. If you have a little girl, tell her that she is a little girl. She is referred toas a female. She is different from a little boy. If she livesand God blesses her, she will grow up to be a woman.If you have a little boy, tell him that he is a boyand that he is referred to as a male. If he lives and God blesses him, he will grow up to be a man. Do not take anything for granted.
Somewhere, from some other person, they may hear something else, but your children have something that others do not have if you do your job as a Christian parent. They have the truth of God’s Word as a fixed point of reference.
How far you go with this instruction depends on their age and your desire to instruct them. They should be hearing this, not first from a class in school, but from their mothers and fathers. The tone of your voice when speaking about these subjects is very important. It is not something to be poked fun of. It is not something to doubt. It is a fixed point of reference taught in God’s Word.
FROM MARRIAGE BY GOD’S DESIGN, COME SO MANY OTHER BLESSINGS GOD HAS PLANNED AND PREPARED FOR US
Read to your children: Genesis 1:28
This is a good place to talk to your children about how they were born and how they came into being. Some people are very timid about this, but the most open, plain talk ever done about sexual things should be done between parents and their children. Take the responsibility as a mother or father. Ask God to give you wisdom. Speak plainly to your children about these all-important life matters.
The Bible says in Genesis 1:28, “And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth….”
“Be fruitful.” Ask God to help you explain what that is. “…And multiply.” Explain what that is. “…And replenish the earth.” Explain biologically how those things are incapable of happening when a man does not marry a woman, or a woman does not marry a man. Get tough here. At the appropriate time you can explain that a woman, meaning, some biological female can have something that is done from a contribution made by an unknown man, treating human beings like animals being bred on a farm. These things have gone on and will continue to go on.
This is the world in which we live, but if your children are instructed in your home about what Christ has designed and what the Bible says, they will be instructed about what God teaches in His Word and they will have a fixed point of reference. They will know that all else is against God and against God’s Word. This is in your hands. May God help us to do our job.
MARRIAGE IS TO BE PERMANENT: ‘TIL DEATH DO US PART’
Read and explain this passage to your children: Matthew 19:1-4
God designed marriage to be permanent: one man and one woman for a lifetime. In Genesis chapter five, the Lord tells us, “This is the book of the generations of Adam. In the day that God created man, in the likeness of God made he him; Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created.” Notice the plural pronoun their. It does not say here that God called them Adam and Eve. It says that God called their name Adam. Two people became one. That is God’s intent.
Look at what the Bible says in Mark 10:1-2, “And he arose from thence, and cometh into the coasts of Judaea by the farther side of Jordan: and the people resort unto him again; and, as he was wont, he taught them again. And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him.” Remember, they are not really interested in an answer. They were trying to entrap the Lord Jesus. Read and discover this Bible passage with your children, Mark 10:3-9:
“And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you? And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away. And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”
Moses allowed for divorce because of the hardness of their hearts. The Bible says Moses granted divorcement. But that was not God’s intention. What do you want your children to learn? What do you want your children to know about marriage? You need to tell them that marriage is permanent. It is to be seriously entered into as a covenant we make with God.
MARRIAGE IS TO BE PURE
Read this passage and explain it to your children: Hebrews 13:8
God intended for a man to be married to the same woman, and while he is married to that woman, he never engages in the kind of behavior he has with his wife with any other woman. And she never engages with another man in the kind of behavior that she has with her husband. You will have to do some explaining with this. You explain to them first and foremost by your example as a husband and wife that marriage is meant to be pure. When they marry someone, they enter into a relationship in that marriage union that allows things that are not allowed before that marriage. This is how children are conceived and come into the world. Once they have entered into it, they are to be pure before God and before one another.
Talk about infidelity. Talk about what it means. God says adultery is a sin worse than death. God says that you can go to the adulterer’s house, and you will never return. In other words, it is a scar you can never get over. Make a serious thing about it. Let them hear the fright and forbidding in your voice. Let them hear the prohibitions that God makes about keeping that covenant and never breaking it. That is what children need to know about marriage.
The Bible says in Hebrews 13:4, “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.”I can hear someone saying, “Pastor, if I read a verselike that from the Bible, I do not know if I can explainit to my children.” Oh, yes you can!
At some particular juncture in their life, you can explain it. Long before they ever enter into the idea of being married to somebody you can explain it. You can explain to them the difference between a whoremonger and an adulterer. You can explain to them what God intends when He talks about a bed being undefiled. Both deal with loyalty and purity in marriage. This is not something to be played with.
FROM THE MARRIAGE UNION, WE ARE ABLE TO INSTRUCT OTHERS ABOUT WHAT GOD SAYS ABOUT MARRIED LIFE
Read and explain this passage: Ephesians 5:30-33
There is a cycle here. Mothers can say to their daughters, “Someday, darling, you will be in the place that Mommy is in.” Fathers can say, “Someday, son, you will be in the place Daddy is in. And God will give you someone to instruct like I am trying to instruct you. I want you to be fully informed, fully aware, and fully capable to tell your children what I have told you.”
As Christian people, we are in this life giving an example, a picture, to all the world of the relationship that Christ has with His bride, His church. Only when marriage is done the Bible way do we have the clarity that we need in this picture. We live in a time of sexual anarchy, when people do what is right in their own eyes in the matter of sexual behavior. Henceforth, we must have the discipline, dependence on God, and the dedication to give ourselves to God’s design and exemplify before a generation following after us what God says is true about marriage.
I have given you these seven things. I want you to share them with your children at the age-appropriate times. Instruct your children in what God says about marriage. You can do it. God will help you. God Himself is going to hold you accountable for doing this with your children. I am praying for